Sunday, September 04, 2005


I almost liked all the numbers up till 27..... but this one, donno, hated it!

I feel like really old, grown up! As if the whole 28 years I have lived already were in the last year only!

Theorically, I have lived half my life already! I'm in good health, have all my beloved family around me except for my father. There is nothing to complain about!

Then, why I'm feeling like a shit (donno if shit can actually feels but it's just an expression.) I feel I have done nothing for myself!

Study: still struggling to get admission at some well-reputed university in Canada, trying to convince them that it's so different here in Damascus, we study to pass not to learn, we enrol to avoid military service not to improve ourselves, so far, no success!

Work: No career has been launched yet! No clue of what I wanna do nor how to.

Friends: I have a lot, however, the close ones, or thought-to-be-close, are gone or turned out not to be as thought to be!...with exceptions for sure.

Love: Failure, no success! Met lovely people, but no sudden sparks. I guess, at my age, no more sparks, no more first-sight thingy, no more liking someone by watching how they walk, eat, talk, laugh, kiss, hug, cry and touch! It's now about how they think and no need to tell how hard it's to get to know that and the hidden surprises along the way!

Oh, I miss the simplicity of it.

Health & fitness: I wear glasses, have 9 extra kilos of weight, haven't been to the gym since March (when I severely twisted my ankle at work). But I guess I'm fine, it could be worse...... I must not grumble!

Last year's birthday, I celebrated in Der Ezzor, it was a surprise party at Cham Hotel there. ( You gotta see the singer, wow, been in that region for few days, she was like a drop of water in the throat of a person who is dying of thirst. Hehe)

This year, I went out with my bloggers friends the day before. I went with this new (weirdo) girl that I'm currently dating (!!), then went with some friends to Bloudan, then with my family! and today with my friends at work! Gosh, all this to remind me of the infamous 28 :(

No wishes for the new year, stopped being silly and make wishes! there is no such a thing! It's a drug to numb and make things easier!

Hope, it's a different story, I do have hope! it's the food of my soul. My hope, however, is to be able to hold, stay still, never let go, do not collapse, keep my words and promises, retain my honesty and straight-forwardness.

By the way, Honesty and straight-forwardness in our society do not get you laid, but they make you feel really good and self-satisfied, maybe better than what sex makes you a certain extent, I must say :D


Ghalia said...

Happy Birthday Ihsan:) inshallah all ur dreams come true so soon:)

Ghalia said...

and yeah the traditional says, okbaal el 100 seneh!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Hasson… I don't know why do I got the impression of gloominess and despair between the lines.
May joy and progress be ur companion in ur coming years.
Cheer up

GraY FoX said...

well happy birthday buddy.... and hey cheer up ... cuz we are as bryan adams says.. 18 till i die .... dont wanna grow up i can't see why ... i could care less if time flies by :D

Sharks said...

First of all Happy Birthday!
Now don't take this personal...but with THIS kind of honesty "straight-forwardness" am sure u'll get to hear "fuck off" a lot...i know it's not what u'r looking for...but CLOSE ENOUGH! ;) being honest myself...

Zena said...

I don't know what to say, I read your post at work and thought" ok, I'm going to write this and that", now when I read your post again, I can't communicate what I want to say.I hope I make sense to you,
Ihsan, so your 28, your struggling with your studies, you have no career plans,experienced bad friendships. failed with love,think your unfit, living on hope.
Your are just a drop in the sea, alot of people face those problems, but I'm not going to elaborate on that, because you are different.
Ok, you will ask how am I different?
You draw a smile on our face, you are loved from family and friends, you are smart, wise, experienced, witty, funny, humble, educated, open, responsible, gentlemen, creative, respectful and absouloutley CHARMING.
Be patient, good guys always win.
And all you have to do is believe again, believe in yourself, in your value, in your desicions and in love.
Sparks aren't everything, experience love as it should be, as God has meant it to be for you, not like how love is in fairy tales or how our culture sees it.
Be open and acceptable, you will never know.

Yazan said...

*tryna get words, other than happy birthday*...

life is not plain, it's nice to know that u can live the whole complexity of life... it makes it worth living!

GO GO Ihsan, time is still on ur side, time is ALWAYS on our side... we're the ones who actaully change sides!

Tolerant Damascene said...

Happy belated birthday Ihsan :)

Ihsan said...

Ghalia, Iyad, Yazan and Tolerant Damascene, Thank you ALL for your kind words ya jama3a...

Anonymous, Thanx, but who are you?

Zena, I was looking around me to see the person you talked about! hmm, no luck! so, it's in the eyes of the beholder I guess! Sweet of you anyway :)

Ya Sharks, feel free to be as honest as you can in here, you are welcome, but I don't know where did u experience or see the "straight-forwardness" that I mentioned! What I'm writing here is simply what/how I'm thinking, not what I'm behaving, I gave no clues, just said that I'm like "this" or "that" ;)

Zena said...

Well, I reflect what I see, like mirrorrs, they reflect REALITY.

Sharks said...

Ya ihsan...u'r right...actually i didn't see u'r honesty reflects through u'r post 28...but i was commenting on the last few lines...i thought how does honesty has anything to do with getting laid?!...some how i found a remote connection :)...n' dont worry...i also belive that what u write and what u actually do r compleatly two diffirent things...n' also u can count on me being honest cus other wise i really suck:D...

Sharks said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hey! Stop by health

Anonymous said...

This is silly- but I randomly came across your blog. I've never been to Damascus, although I have a friend who is there and I always wonder what his life is like.

I'm really drawn to the sincerity in your blog. I'm also 28 and can identify with so much of what you have to say on love, career, and life. I too am trying to decide whether and how to conitinue my education (what grad program? What degree? is it worth the cost?). Maybe this is what happens at this age?

Good luck with everything...but I'm sure you will succeed. I know this post was months ago. I'll keep lingering about and reading if you don't mind.