Wednesday, February 22, 2006

ZZZZ...ZZZZ

I miss my mom…….

I have been thinking a lot about her recently……. We only know how precious her presence in our life once we are far away from her…. Seize the moment people, if your mom is near you, go give her a big hug….there is nothing feels like it on the face of the world…

I’m overloaded with exams, and losing my concentration over the silliest things!

Life here if fucking boring, the North American definition of fun is getting drunk! Every time I go out with some people, they get drunk in the first 10 minutes of the evening and I end up spending the whole night with them making fools out of themselves and laughing over nothing!!! It happens all the time…..they don’t just hang out, talk and laugh, just the way we do back home. That’s why I tend to enjoy my loneliness a lot more than going out with people here!

Movies, are my best friends, I enjoy taking a walk there and catch a movie once or twice a week….. That doesn’t sound like fun to many people, but for years, I always enjoyed this tradition; going alone to the movies. I used not to mention it to my friends in Damascus, so I could get to go alone….

I so much need to talk to Syrians, or people who have the same background so they can understand what I say, what I feel, and what I mean! Unfortunately, no Syrians around me! I was on the phone with a friend who is doing his PhD in UK, ohhhhhh, it felt so warm and so cool to speak Arabic with a Syrian dude! I’m getting 2 phone calls per week from 2 of my closest friends from Damascus, but they are girls and I do miss the guys' talks and kicks! Hope I’m not turning gay!..... Hmmmm, I don’t think so!

We had a big snow storm 10 days ago…. I took the chance and had a crazy walk inside the storm. It felt like walking in the North Pole. I couldn’t see a thing, just a white wind blowing around me. I donno how I made it back home, but I did, and I enjoyed it!

This evening, I was sitting trying to study and playing with my hair that had really gotten really long! All of a sudden and out of no where, I decided I want to get rid of it…ALL…..so I got my Philishave and zzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzz.....zzzzz, finally, I turned myself into a baldy with not even a single hair over my head…..now I miss my hair!

7 comments:

Anxious wared said...

Hello Ihsan,
the 1st year away from home always the hardest, i know what you mean about being the sober guy among drunks, I became for a while the designated driver coz i don't drink....
it will get easier as soon as you get busy with the problems of everyday stuff, slowly, you will get over your boredom, but it will take time....

Omar said...

for me, first year in london in 1999 = 63 movies (still have the ticket stubs) + memorizing the complete works of Ziad Rahbani + over 1000 pounds on phone calls to damascus + I shaved my head bald 2 times..

lol.. you sound like you're talking about me... so I guess that what you're going through is normal for a first year... i.e. don't worry my friend.. things will get better.. just keep hanging on... and watch out of them snow storm.. you don't want to catch pneumonia if you're living alone... believe me!!!!

Anonymous said...

okay, so I came across that blog accidentally! I was on el-sirio's website..and somehow got here after clicking on other links like crazy.. but anywhooo after reading your very last comment, I thought of sharing some ideas...Having lived in the States for six years now, I totally feel and understand what you're going through.

However, you can take some steps to overcome whatever you might be feeling:

first, try to find people with whom you can actually just sit down, sip some coffee, and talk about things--they do exist, wallah, but it takes time to find them! usually students in the liberal arts departments are so fucking interesting that it's not even funny! --

second, you can try mingling with other foreigners..from my experience, international students tend to have more common grounds than let's say me and average joe..

third, joining on-campus organizations that appeal to you or are of your interest is another great way of meeting people who share similar views about the world..

or you might as well just join the club and start drinking.. It can be a lot of fun sometimes-

hope that helps! stay positive!:):)

yallah, salam man.

Ghalia said...

Don't be sad , hair is bda3a makhloufeh!!!

Yazan said...

okay, everytime u post sth, I get freaked out... bas this time it's way worse.. I LOOK HORRIBLE in bald head... let's hope tokyo's different!!!

I miss my mom too btw... I already miss everything here..

we're humans = we can [and will] adapt... ;) that's our quality!

Ihsan said...

Anxious wared...

They don't just understand how can a person not get drunk! They just think that I'm missing so much in my life being sober all the time! Life goes on...and I'd rather be awake meanwhile ;)

Omar....
Who keeps the movies stubs?...hehe, I do as well!
Good to know that what I'm going through is a normal phase...cuz I've started to think I'm being extra sissy!

Anonymous...
Thanks for the advises, I actually hang out with international students more than locals, and I'm still trying to find those who enjoy sipping coffee and talk....so far, no luck!

Ghalia...
:\

Front_bumper...
As if I ever expected that I would shave my hair off! but man, once you are there, you just don't care! But sure we will adapt, eventually..best of luck in Japan....I may be visiting you during your stay there!

sitalhbayb said...

hi, u know iread ur notes but ifound this amazing and funny u made me loughing for long time hahahahahahaha really ican't stop it untill my tears fall from my eyes . when ired it heard the the sound zzzzzzzzzzzzz and imagined how u looked . hahahahaha. sorry for my poor english .