Story of a lady…

Before I start, I want to say to that passing princess…thank you.


For the last two years, a lot of question marks have been floating over my head. I’d started to believe that I lost any sense of intimacy with the women. For two years, in all my so-called relationships here in Canada or better described as one night-stand, two nights, or even weeks-stand relations , I always ended up taking a cold bath cursing what I had just done. I always blamed myself for being no more than a person who seemed to only be able to have meaningless encounters with women. I had always justified it and convinced myself that what I do is simply a result of me growing mature and being the wise-ass who knows what relationships are about and that I don’t need anything more than just a little action.

I was wrong……

Few days before I left home and came back to Canada…..we met..it was a dinner among friends…I knew about her, knew of her but didn’t know her. Before that night, she was just a girl that I met through friends. That dinner was the spark that made me realize that I’m still all about connecting to someone, relating to and more….being crazy about. The dinner was over, we waved goodbye and then I saw a spark in her eyes…reflecting the spark in my eyes. We texted each other few minutes after….spend the night together, on the phone, we went to sleep when the first morning rays where lighting Damascus. We met 4 hours after, it was our first official date. It was the longest and most fulfilling date I have had in years. Those hours moved us ahead in a super fast relationship that would usually take months to get this far.

She made me feel that it’s all about intimacy and everything else came after. We connected, we danced, we hugged, we kissed, we made sweet love. She made me feel like a man who has more feelings than desires. She introduced me back to the old “me” that I had thought I’d lost.
She introduced me to Ihsan, the man who can actually fall for someone once again, if distances, oceans and lands did not separate between Canada and Syria.

This short relationship was an eye opener for me. It came as a reminder that I’m missing so much. It’s not about the physical aspect. But more about what leads to it and what results from it. It’s about wanting to stay so close to someone that skins would merge together.
I do miss all that, I do miss her, her voice, her annoying never ending arguments, her touch, her skin. Her image when the lights were so dim has been imprinted on the twists of my brain cells that will takes a surgery to remove.

Thanks a thousand times. I wish we lived in the same country. I wish if we didn’t believe that online relationship is not the thing that we both want for now.




My 2008 resolution is no more physical encounters without intimacy, if I’m not gonna have what I had, I don’t need it.

Guy's Magnate!

I just got the new Azzaro fragrance for men, “Azzaro Now” which was remarkably cheap for a new cologne under such a name. I’ve worn it a couple of time already and just realized that whenever I smell it, I get sexually aroused. Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, shouldn’t men’s cologne cause such an arousal at women rather than men? Then what the heck? I wonder what will happen if I wear it and go to a club or something….oh boy I’m gonna make a huge wave among all the guys there!

The moral of the story: If you ever buy something expensive for a cheap price…then you’d better watch your ass!

First......

Nothing is more precious than the "first" of everything.... First love, first kiss, first relationship with a soulmate, a best friend or a work place, first salary, first personal gift we get or we give. Those firsts have a magical substance that gets deep inside us and never leave.... First time to snow is one of my favorites, maybe because it happens every year and yet it feels as new every time. No it's not snowing outside, it will soon, but I just felt the urge of it. In the absence of any new "firsts" for the last few years, the "first" snow is all what I have.


As cold as it may be, snow fills my heart with warmth. When the flakes dance on their way to touch the ground, they tell a story, they sing it. If we listen closely, we can hear it. A song about a new day, a new time, a new life. Those flakes descend from heaven every year but they always start the season with that happy song of hope. That song is what I have had. If I could only be a flake of snow or act like one, excited to arrive to my destination, knowing what my destination is, and dance my way there, I would have become a better me. A me that still believes in something, still believes in many things that I have lost my faith in; starting with me.

I love the first snow....I will hold on to loving it until I find my new "first"...or at least start believing that I will ever have a new "first".....