Monday, August 01, 2005

The Fantastic Four.....

Today, is my fourth anniversary at my current job! wow...4 years have passed already....I feel like it's been for ever!

It should have been less in half. If I wasn't stupid, I should have done something long ago! When I say something, I mean, a step, a decision or a plan! I have been saying that this is a transitional job, and it is! Then, how come I have spent 4 years at a temporary work that is not a career!?? What a loser!

I'm not nagging, I have a very well-reputed job with a pay that nobody of my age could dream of, still, that should have not numbed me at all! I used to be a very ambitious lad, not sure if I still am! Cannot tell before I move to the next step!

Those 4 years have been one of my most valuable lessons in life, yet to have. They were so full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness! I had a good start, then it got even better, before I let my 2 years notorious relation with my x girlfriend dominate my life turning me into a slave. It dominated everything in my life including my professional performance. I went down, emotionally, physically, psychologically and professionally. It was only then when I discovered how sickly winning weak I was!

I got the worst annual appraisal at work that a human being can get due to that matter and the obvious implications it had reflected on my life. I was this close to lose my job! But they say that after rain always comes a rainbow! In my rainbows or happy Indian movies endings, but I finally woke up and learnt the lesson. Ever since, I have changed my perspectives of many things, starting with love and ending with relations. I have been seeing things from a different angle. Life could be a lot better if we see it as it is not as we want to. The rainbow in my story is not a strip of colours, nor having thought-to-be-valuable things back! Nor taking revenge of anybody, as we think its what would make us feel better when we are into the deep shit, my rainbow, however, was me getting back to the old me that I miss. It's innovating the old me to protect him from getting into the trap again!

I won't act childishly, as many people do after a screw up relationship, and say that I hate love nor or there is no love..bla bla.... On the contrary, I have developed a better concept of love, purer but more clearer and more mature! I blame nobody for the previous relation but myself!

The alpha and omega is that love does strongly exist, however, having your feet swept away, or having your heart beating so hard that it would pop up out of your chest, or being unable to breath (not due to smocking problems), DO NOT mean that you are in love! Love is being loved in return, love is respect, love is honesty, love is understanding and completion of each other, love is the harmony between heart and mind. Finally, love is a lesson, could be an excruciating one, or it could be the sweetest lesson of your life. The positive thinking would be that no matter what kind of lessons it is, lessons are meant to teach us something!

Finally, I came to believe that we should go to work to work, and work only, not to socialize. It's wrong to mix between the two. Relations at the work place are built on rivalry, competitiveness and mutual interests, thus, no healthy base to build up a friendship/love relations. Maybe a casual relation with people that you see everyday, hang out with, go to dinners and parties with, but that should be it.

Few days ago, I got my new appraisal, it's the best appraisal I have ever had. I feel great, I'm feeling that I'm coming back to surface again! The reason for this feeling is the thought that I'm getting better and stronger. The thought that I may be meeting the new/old me soon :)'s alive!

Happy anniversary me!


Stellar said...

You know, I can relate to you when it comes to your actual feelings with everything that's going on. I don't feel as ambitious as before but thank God, that's changing thanks to my childhood best friend.

When it comes to love, I see it as a seriously tricky thing. That feeling can mislead you. It can be attachement not love which is probably one of the most unhealthiest things to deal with.

You know when it's love once you feel exactly what you mentioned. I totally agree with you 100%

Stellar said...

One more thing, glad to know you're not giving in. You're learning from the experience and you're becoming wiser and more experienced.

Tolerant Damascene said...

Change is part of our lives... It's not always positive or benefetial, but at the end you learn a lesson, as you said, and you become stronger.

Good luck on your job and on all the friendships and relationships you'll have in your life.

Happy 4th Anniversary :)

Anonymous said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose. A
time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
'Thought & Humor'

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

'Thought & Humor' by Howdy
Great Humor
Great Thought
CyberHumor, CyberThought
CyberRiddles for your divertissement!!!

Sinan said...

I am deeply touched :) and appreciate every single word you wrote. Thanks you made my day somehow.

Good luck in your life, and I hope you'll persue your dreams and work out a plan that would satisfies your ambitions.

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