Today, is my fourth anniversary at my current job! wow...4 years have passed already....I feel like it's been for ever!
It should have been less in half. If I wasn't stupid, I should have done something long ago! When I say something, I mean, a step, a decision or a plan! I have been saying that this is a transitional job, and it is! Then, how come I have spent 4 years at a temporary work that is not a career!?? What a loser!
I'm not nagging, I have a very well-reputed job with a pay that nobody of my age could dream of, still, that should have not numbed me at all! I used to be a very ambitious lad, not sure if I still am! Cannot tell before I move to the next step!
Those 4 years have been one of my most valuable lessons in life, yet to have. They were so full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness! I had a good start, then it got even better, before I let my 2 years notorious relation with my x girlfriend dominate my life turning me into a slave. It dominated everything in my life including my professional performance. I went down, emotionally, physically, psychologically and professionally. It was only then when I discovered how sickly winning weak I was!
I got the worst annual appraisal at work that a human being can get due to that matter and the obvious implications it had reflected on my life. I was this close to lose my job! But they say that after rain always comes a rainbow! In my case....no rainbows or happy Indian movies endings, but I finally woke up and learnt the lesson. Ever since, I have changed my perspectives of many things, starting with love and ending with relations. I have been seeing things from a different angle. Life could be a lot better if we see it as it is not as we want to. The rainbow in my story is not a strip of colours, nor having thought-to-be-valuable things back! Nor taking revenge of anybody, as we think its what would make us feel better when we are into the deep shit, my rainbow, however, was me getting back to the old me that I miss. It's innovating the old me to protect him from getting into the trap again!
I won't act childishly, as many people do after a screw up relationship, and say that I hate love nor or there is no love..bla bla.... On the contrary, I have developed a better concept of love, purer but more clearer and more mature! I blame nobody for the previous relation but myself!
The alpha and omega is that love does strongly exist, however, having your feet swept away, or having your heart beating so hard that it would pop up out of your chest, or being unable to breath (not due to smocking problems), DO NOT mean that you are in love! Love is being loved in return, love is respect, love is honesty, love is understanding and completion of each other, love is the harmony between heart and mind. Finally, love is a lesson, could be an excruciating one, or it could be the sweetest lesson of your life. The positive thinking would be that no matter what kind of lessons it is, lessons are meant to teach us something!
Finally, I came to believe that we should go to work to work, and work only, not to socialize. It's wrong to mix between the two. Relations at the work place are built on rivalry, competitiveness and mutual interests, thus, no healthy base to build up a friendship/love relations. Maybe a casual relation with people that you see everyday, hang out with, go to dinners and parties with, but that should be it.
Few days ago, I got my new appraisal, it's the best appraisal I have ever had. I feel great, I'm feeling that I'm coming back to surface again! The reason for this feeling is the thought that I'm getting better and stronger. The thought that I may be meeting the new/old me soon :)....it's alive!
Happy anniversary me!