Termination

“Please accept my resignation to be effective on December 17, 2005.”


Those were the words that were to terminate my 4 years and a half of work at the Canadian Embassy in Damascus as an Immigration Program Assistant.

I submitted it today at 12:30 PM and got the approval 10 minutes later.

A month from now and I will be back to be jobless and soon after, will be back to be a student again!

I have very mixed feelings; I was shaking when I wrote the Notice of Resignation. I felt unsure and uncertain whether I was doing the right thing or not. Deep inside, I was excited because I have had enough of this job; I couldn’t get of it any better. I reached the top of it; at least this is what I think.

Being student again means I, no longer, can be as free as I have been. I will be looking for a part-time job to cover my living expenses. I don’t care what kind of work I will get. I never care what people think.

I have been stuck between the desire of moving on and taking a major step and the stability that I have been having for years. Today, I took the first step toward the unknown path of uncertainty. I’m going toward something that very few people encouraged me to, but on the other hand, most if not all of the people, did the opposite.

It’s like gambling, no guarantees of winning or losing, I will only know once I play.

I’m a risk taker, or wanna-be-one. I took this step pushed by a huge amount of adrenaline caused by the great thing that happened to me and ended 10 years of worries; the Military Service. Yes, I paid the exemption fees just yesterday and I’m now as free as I had been longing to. During the past ten years of avoiding this military, I have experienced all methods. I used all the possible and impossible ways. I paid so much money to avoid it. I did, but was always haunted by it, imprisoned by it. Not anymore. It feels great by the way.

Today, I’m feeling happy; however, uncertain if I should be, I’m trying to be positive. But the fear of unknown is a bitch that cannot be beaten, on the short term at least.

I don't know if it's the end or it's the beginning. I wish I could know, I would be more certain and less worried.

I hate my Job

Having a heart that actually does more than beating and pumping is a blessing!

While mine does more than that, unfortunately, the people's, who I work with, do not! They are basically senseless robots. I used to find that a great advantage in them. But it's not anymore about dedication and separation between work and everything else, it exceeds to be and extreme in a way that we are no humans anymore. We are a bunch of creatures who work by the BOOK and only by the book, even if, in today's case per instance, the book was ok with the whole case. Yet, they go far with their extremes and tend to see and think that all people are like them, material and emotionless, thus, they take decisions based on what/how they see not on what it really is!

I couldn't care less.....but I work for them, and I'm the guy who delivers/implements their decisions!

Shit!


Now, back to work, soldier! :-\

How to screw up a Syrian man in ten days!

Day one: Be friendly (it shows that you are comfortable in his presence)
Day two: Laugh when he tells a silly joke (it shows that you find him funny not silly)
Day three: Pretend to listen when he talks, do NOT yawn, hold it till he finishes (it shows that you find him interesting, yet, deep)
Day four: Ask him for his phone number or even mailing address (it show extreme interest in getting to know him)
Day five: Call him during the day (it shows that you miss his presence around you)
Day six: Agree when he asks you out within a group (it shows that you love having him around).

Day seven: Ask him for an advice (it shows that you find him a man, yet reliable)
Day eight: Call him late at night (it shows that you have fallen for him)
Day nine: Go out with him, just the two of you (it shows that he is the one for you)
Day ten: Don't call, don't answer, if you feel sorry for the puppy, answer, but be mean. No going outs, being busy all the time, but keep being mean.... et voila..done!


A friend called me and asked to go to the movies because there is a movie called "How to Lose a guy in ten days"....I told her: Rima, you and your Syrian fellows, must consider watching "How to keep a guy for ten days" or maybe "How to find him first" then you watch that movie! So that triggered me to put some words about this issue in a post.

I do find it stupid, the whole concept of dating and marrying here in Syria, I find it so sick. Both genders complain, both pretend to be good whilst the other gender is full of contradiction and complexes. Most of both genders claim many thing but they are nothing but hypocrites!

I'm trying not to take the stand of a man, I'm trying to be as neutral as I can, and no that does not make me gay, in case it popped up in one's mind!

Almost all the people that I know, claim that they do not want to get married through the traditional way, they all wanna go and find that one. They all keep saying so, but at the same time, they act exactly the opposite. They block almost all the possible means of meeting or getting to know new people from outside their circle. If someone from the opposite sex is bold enough to dare and put him/herself inside the circle, bad impressions and thoughts about him/her will be all around their heads. (e.g. why, hmmm, there must be something hidden, I don't trust this person, what does he/she thinks of me to ask for my number or to go to a concert!)

We claim at one point.....that we care about the core of the person, we care not about money and look...well, core my ass....non of us (boys and girls), gives a rat's ass about the core when this person is presented as a possible match....it's all about the look and the money after all. I'm not against that, just think that it's no shame to say what we are looking for out and loud.

A person that I know, knows a person who met a girl, in no time, he loved her and tattooed her name on his bicep! Shortly after, they broke up. He was crying in the street and telling her that he even tattooed her name so how come she was leaving him! While this is nothing but a teenage-style relation, but the fact is, it does widely exist. The misconception of what love is about, is widely spread in our heads. We think we know what does love means, we think we know what marriage is about, and we think we know all about relations and the opposite sex, but the fact is...we know nothing! We grow up in a closed society and at certain level, we managed to have some freedom, we grew without learning about the opposite sex, we grew to see them as monster, the learning age in our society is between 18 up to 40s.... and it's a really dangerous age to learn about relations at. cuz we pay, the opposite sex pays for the learning lessons we have.

I'm just really annoyed to know so many great girls and great boys who haven't found their soul mates just because they don't trust the opposite sex, just because they were fed ideas about how dangerous it could be to break the pattern that their ancestors followed in finding their mates. Yet, they have evolved enough to know that they cannot comply with the same pattern cuz life and concepts are much different now than then. They were put in contradiction made by the society.

There is no clear aim or idea for this post.... just relations related thoughts!

As for the introductory 10 days advices, I wrote them cuz I believe that the lake of experience with the opposite sex makes us vulnerable to be mistreated and misused by the people from the other sex who have more experience in the world of relations, most likely, people who have been mistreated in previous relation when they had no experience!